Saturday, 9 March 2013

Are you the hostage negotiator?

Hopefully I haven't gone too far this time. I got a call from a crackly line and knew immediately that it was going to be a cold call from somewhere in deep darkest india.

As soon as he started to say Hello Mr Rodri I immediately barked back at him "Are you the hostage negotiator?" silence... "I'm sorry?" said the confused sounding survey droid. "I said, are you the hostage negotiator, because I'm going to start killing the hostages if you don't co-operate"

"Get me chief inspector Crack on the line!" More confused silence. "Who are you?"

"I'm calling from Consumer Lifestyles Magazine" said the tremulous caller who had probably now truely gone cold.

"Are you kidding me? Listen I've got a bank full of people here and someone is going to die unless there is a helicoptor outside the front door in five minutes" I could hear some stammering from the other side of the line. "That's it, too bad, they're all gone" and I hung up.

I actually feel terribly cruel doing this for real. Though I had the idea while ago it wasn't something I thought I would ever do. Now I feel sorry for the poor guy who might now feel that he has doomed a bank full of people.

And what if he calls the police? I don't think it would be fun explaining that one. I wish now that I'd told him that I was only kidding before hanging up

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