I'm working from home today and was interrupted by a cold caller. He said he was from Solar Panels. I had no time for a proper windup so went straight to the ridiculous
"Hello, can I speak with the home owners?".
"Im from Solar Panels. Are you the home owner?"
"Do you own your own home?"
"That's right I'm the home owner."
I'm not sure what the source of his confusion was but he wasn't convinced.
"Do you live in a flat?"
"No" I replied, " I live in a secret underground bunker."
This didn't seem to worry him as much as the sneaky suspicion that I might not be the homeowner.
"Do you pay rent?"
"No of course I don't pay rent. Its a secret underground bunker. You don't rent decommissioned nuclear missile silos"
This seemed to satisfy him so he asked me for my address.
The Secret Underground Bunker
43 Horseshoe Lane
Enfield EN1 4PS
"Oh thank you very much sir have a nice day" "Wait! what about the solar panels?"
"I'm sorry sir, your home is not suitable"